By Mark Inscoe — Civil Celebrant Sussex, Brighton & Hove
Pride as a Season of Memory
Every June, Brighton shimmers with colour. Pride flags unfurl along the seafront, couples walk hand‑in‑hand without hesitation, and our city becomes a living tapestry of courage, joy, and unapologetic selfhood. But Pride is also a season of remembrance.
A time to honour those who paved the way, those we’ve lost, and those whose stories deserve to be held with tenderness.
As a gay civil celebrant based in Brighton, I’ve had the privilege of crafting funerals and celebrations of life for LGBTQ+ people across Sussex. Each ceremony is a reminder that LGBTQ+ lives are not just lived — they are fought for, cherished, and deeply worthy of honour.
Why LGBTQ+‑Inclusive Funerals Matter
For many LGBTQ+ people, the end of life can be fraught with complexities:
- Families who never fully accepted them
- Partners or chosen family who fear being sidelined
- Names or pronouns that were never respected
- Histories of discrimination, secrecy, or erasure
- A lifetime of resilience that deserves to be acknowledged
An inclusive funeral is not simply “welcoming”.
It is corrective, healing, and profoundly necessary.
As Civil Celebrant Sussex, my role is to ensure that every ceremony reflects the truth of the person who has died — their identity, their loves, their community, their humour, their battles, and their brilliance.
Celebrating LGBTQ+ Lives with Authenticity
1. Honouring Chosen Family
For many LGBTQ+ people, chosen family is the backbone of their world. Ceremonies can centre:
- Partners and spouses
- Long‑term companions
- Housemates who became siblings
- Drag families
- Activist circles
- LGBTQ+ elders and mentors
These relationships deserve equal footing with biological ties.
2. Respecting Identity Without Compromise
Names, pronouns, gender expression, and lived identity are non‑negotiable.
A ceremony should never revert to “what the family prefers”.
It must honour who the person was — and who they are.
3. Celebrating LGBTQ+ Joy
LGBTQ+ lives are not defined by struggle alone.
Ceremonies can embrace:
- Favourite LGBTQ+ anthems
- Pride colours
- Camp humour
- Drag artistry
- Poetry, activism, and love stories
- The unapologetic sparkle that made them unforgettable
4. Acknowledging the Wider Story
For some, it’s important to name the context:
- The AIDS crisis
- Section 28
- The fight for marriage equality
- Experiences of rejection or resilience
Handled with care, these truths deepen the ceremony rather than overshadow it.
Pride Month: A Time to Remember Our Dead
Pride began as a protest — and remembrance has always been woven into its roots.
During June, I often lead ceremonies or memorial moments that honour:
- LGBTQ+ elders who carried us forward
- Those lost to HIV/AIDS
- Trans siblings whose lives were cut short
- LGBTQ+ people who never lived to see the freedoms we now hold
- Loved ones whose stories deserve to be spoken aloud
A Pride‑month funeral or memorial can be a powerful act of visibility.
It says: You mattered. You still matter. And we will remember you with pride.
Crafting a Ceremony with Me
As Civil Celebrant Sussex, I bring:
- An LGBTQ+ lens
- A Brighton sensibility
- A warm, grounded presence
- A commitment to dignity and authenticity
- Experience supporting families through grief
- A deep respect for ritual, storytelling, and symbolism
Whether you’re planning ahead, arranging a funeral, or creating a celebration of life, I work closely with you to shape a ceremony that feels true — poetic, humorous, heartfelt, or quietly powerful.
Pride‑Inspired Ritual Ideas for LGBTQ+ Funerals
- A rainbow candle‑lighting ritual
- A reading from LGBTQ+ literature or poetry
- A moment of remembrance for LGBTQ+ ancestors
- Music from LGBTQ+ icons (Bronski Beat, George Michael, Janelle Monáe, k.d. lang)
- A procession with Pride flags
- A memory table celebrating identity, activism, or artistry
- A “circle of love” where chosen family speak first
These elements can be subtle or bold — whatever feels right.
Closing Thoughts: Love, Legacy & the Colours We Leave Behind
Every life leaves a colour in the world.
Some leave a whole spectrum.
As a celebrant, my work is to help families and communities honour those colours — with honesty, compassion, and pride.
If you’re seeking a ceremony that reflects the fullness of an LGBTQ+ life, I’m here to walk that path with you.
With warmth,
Mark Inscoe
Civil Celebrant Sussex — Brighton, Hove, Sussex, Surrey & Kent
