Why a Celebration of Life Matters — Especially After a Direct Cremation or When There Has Been No Funeral
As a funeral celebrant based in Sussex, I meet many families who are navigating the early days of bereavement without having had a traditional funeral. Sometimes this is because their loved one chose a direct cremation, sometimes it’s due to circumstance, and sometimes the family simply didn’t feel ready for a ceremony at the time.
Whatever the reason, one thing remains true: people still need a moment to come together, honour a life, and acknowledge their loss. A Celebration of Life ceremony offers exactly that — a meaningful, personal way to say goodbye when no funeral has taken place.
Why a Ceremony Still Matters After a Direct Cremation
Direct cremations have become increasingly popular across the UK. They can be simple, practical, and aligned with someone’s wishes — but they remove the communal ritual that traditionally helps people process grief.
Families often tell me they feel:
That everything happened too quickly
As though they didn’t get a chance to say goodbye
A sense of something “unfinished”
Disconnected from others who are grieving
A Celebration of Life gently fills that emotional space. It creates a shared moment where people can pause, reflect, and remember — together.
If you’re searching for what to do after a direct cremation or how to honour someone without a funeral, a Celebration of Life can be a deeply healing option.
What Is a Celebration of Life?
A Celebration of Life is a flexible, uplifting, and highly personal ceremony designed to honour someone’s story, personality, and legacy. Unlike a traditional funeral, there are no rules or expectations. It can take place:
Weeks or months after the death
Indoors or outdoors
In a garden, village hall, woodland, beach, or favourite local venue
With a large group or a small circle of family and friends
As a Sussex funeral celebrant, I work closely with families to create a ceremony that feels authentic and meaningful.
Your ceremony might include:
Favourite music or songs
Readings, poems, or letters
Stories shared by friends and family
A symbolic act such as lighting candles or planting a tree
A memory table or photo slideshow
Laughter, tears, or a mixture of both
Every element is shaped around the person you’re honouring.
The Emotional Benefits of a Celebration of Life
A Celebration of Life offers something that many people don’t realise they’re missing until they experience it.
1. It brings people together
Grief can feel isolating. A ceremony reconnects people who cared about the same person, offering comfort and support.
2. It focuses on the life, not just the loss
These ceremonies celebrate personality, achievements, relationships, and the unique qualities that made someone who they were.
3. It helps people begin to process the reality of the death
Marking the moment in a shared, intentional way can be an important step in the grieving journey.
4. It provides a meaningful goodbye when one was missing
For families who had no funeral, this can be the moment that brings peace and a sense of completion.
5. It creates lasting, positive memories
People often leave saying, “That felt exactly right,” or “I’ll remember this forever.”
Is It Too Late to Hold a Celebration of Life?
Not at all. Some families hold a ceremony a few weeks after the cremation. Others wait months. Occasionally, people choose to gather a year later on a birthday or anniversary.
There is no “correct” timing — only what feels right for you.
A Celebration of Life can be:
Joyful
Quiet and reflective
A storytelling evening
A family‑only moment
A community gathering
The flexibility is one of its greatest strengths.
Planning a Celebration of Life in Sussex
If you’re in Sussex and considering how to honour someone after a direct cremation or without a funeral, I’m here to help. As a local celebrant, I support families across East Sussex and West Sussex to create ceremonies that feel personal, heartfelt, and true to the person being remembered.
Together, we can craft a ceremony that:
Reflects your loved one’s personality
Brings people together
Offers comfort and connection
Creates a meaningful moment of remembrance
Every life deserves to be celebrated. Every goodbye deserves to be meaningful.
Afterglow
I’d like the memory of me to be a happy one.
I’d like to leave an afterglow of smiles when life is done.
I’d like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways,
Of happy times, and laughing times, and bright and sunny days.
I’d like tears of those who grieve, to dry before the sun
Of happy memories that I leave, when life is done.
“Several attendees commented on how well Mark had conducted the ceremony…. We feel so blessed to have had Mark at our side.”
“he is an excellent professional…. a person with empathy and true feelings for the people that he is dealing with…..Mark went beyond our expectations and is highly recommended.”
“From meeting Mark for the first time…. he was very welcoming.. He made me and my brother feel comfortable..”
“What a wonderful celebrant…I would certainly recommend Mark to anybody wishing for a caring , sensitive and loving service for their loved one.”
“Mark certainly went above and beyond. I cannot praise Mark enough….Strongly recommend Mark – 5* is not enough.”
“Mark did a brilliant job, preparation was stress-free….he delivered a personal and fitting service on the day.”
Whether you are looking for an experienced Celebrant to create your perfect wedding Celebration, Commitment or Vow Renewal ceremony; or perhaps you are looking for the ideal Funeral Celebrant to compose and deliver with clarity and confidence, the perfect send-off for a beloved relative or friend; or maybe a trusted, enthusiastic Celebrant to welcome your new child into your family with a special Naming Ceremony – look no further than Mark Inscoe, a Brighton based, trained Celebrant, with a West End musical theatre and voice over background. Serving Sussex and the South East of England, but able to travel anywhere, nationally and internationally.
I understand, with costs going up in most areas of day-to-day living, when it comes to those special ceremonies to mark significant life events, money can be tight. 2024 has not been the easiest of years for many, and with the cost of living hit by unexpected rises due to national or international crises, some people are put off spending on luxury services such as celebrant-led ceremonies! But, these are unique, very special and deeply personal ceremonies, which will be remembered for a lifetime.
In light of these considerations, I have decided to maintain my celebrant service pricing at the current 2024 rates.
This year, 2024, marks the 110th anniversary of the start of The Great War, which began on the 28th July 1914. On this Armistice Day, we recall all of those brave souls lost during this conflict and all other wars, fighting heroically, to protect the deep principles of our good and civilised society.
As a funeral celebrant, I have had the real honour to write and conduct committal and celebration of life ceremonies, for many extraordinary people. I have learned of many extraordinary lives, but today, remember those departed whose lives and families were affected by war.
It is a privilege to work with those families and friends of the departed, families who confide in me and share so many personal histories, shared with pride and love and respect. One particular lady who had reached the grand age of 100. She and her sister had been rescued from certain death, when she was relocated from Mainz, Germany, at the age of 14 and sent to The Isle of Man. This was a part of the ‘Kindertransport’ programme, during the nine months prior to the onset of World War Two. Tragically, their parents, who were Jewish, were exterminated two years later by the Nazis. I had heard the term ‘Kindertransport’, but I learned much more in order to research this particular journey. Sadly, the sisters had to be seperated as they were fostered out, one to a family in Canada, and the other to Sussex.
Many others, whose funerals I have conducted, had experienced childhood affected by the Second World War, largely living under the threat of bombing by the German Luftwaffe, in London, Portsmouth and Liverpool. Some had lost parents and other relatives who had fought and died, or some who had returned deeply scarred, mentally or physically.
We Remember Them As the rising of the sun and at its going down… We remember them. At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter… We remember them. At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring… We remember them. At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer… We remember them. At the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of autumn… We remember them. At the beginning of the year and when it ends… We remember them. When we are lost and sick at heart… We remember them. When we have joy we crave to share We remember them. When we have decisions that are difficult to make… We remember them. As long as we live they too will live, for they are now a part of us… And we remember them
Ronald Gittelsohn
(by experienced Funeral Celebrant Mark Inscoe (civilcelebrantsussex) – based in Brighton and Hove, East Sussex. I provide personalised, bespoke ceremonies for Funerals, Crematoria and Graveside Committals, Celebration of Life Ceremonies.)
The theatre of civil ceremony, with Mark Inscoe @civilcelebrantsussex
A fresh, charismatic personality enters the expanding network of independent civil celebrants.
I am currently based in the wonderfully bohemian city of Brighton, fringed by the wide expanse of the widest part of the English Channel. I’m a true ‘water baby’ – I guess being a Piscean, I have a real connection with water. Swimming, paddleboarding, scuba, in addition to almost daily meditation/contemplation time on the beach, all have been a big part of my lifestyle.
I have enjoyed a long and successful career as an actor, working mainly in Musical Theatre. I have appeared in the original London casts of ‘Sunset Boulevard’, ‘Grand Hotel’ and ‘Priscilla, Queen of the Desert’. I was in the early companies of ‘Les Miserables’ and ‘The Phantom of the Opera’ in the West End, played Lumiere in Disney’s ‘Beauty and the Beast’, on the UK tour, Dean Martin in ‘The Ratpack, Live from Las Vegas’ at The Savoy Theatre, and since then I have appeared as Dean in numerous theatre and corporate shows and in my solo cabaret. More recently, I portrayed Florenz Ziegfeld in ‘Funny Girl’ in Paris for 5 months, returning to the UK straight into Lockdown!
I am a voice-over artist and have been heard narrating various TV documentaries, voicing characters on the BAFTA winning game ‘Divinity, Original Sin II’ and was the voice of the ‘E Harmony’ commercial campaign for three years! Perhaps I had been, in part, responsible for bringing couples together! So, it’s ironic that I now work as a wedding celebrant!
Covid lockdown forced a career rethink for many…Actor, Mark Inscoe considers Civil Celebrancy …
The voice work was a lifesaver throughout the covid lockdown, as I already had the facility to record from home. But, like many, this period of disruption forced a rethink of my career. I was inspired by a theatre colleague who moved into the civil ceremony industry about 7 years ago and is now enjoying great success as an independent civil celebrant. In early 2021, I was asked to sing at the funeral of a close friend’s father and Alison Ann was the celebrant. Seeing her in action started the thought process that this was work which would be hugely rewarding.
This was to be my ‘Eureka’ moment!
Alison’s advice has been invaluable, guiding me to the best training, with Civil Ceremonies Ltd, pioneers in the expanding interest in non-religious ceremonies. With the tutorship and guidance of Ann Barber and her wonderful team of experienced celebrants, I qualified with two Level 3 Diplomas. I have entered the business with so much background knowledge and pride in the craft of writing and delivering personalised ceremonies, the perfect work to utilize the skill set and life experience gained over decades of being an actor. Civil Celebrancy is a sort of theatre in many ways in it’s creativity and presentation.
In 2022, I began to establish my new business under the name ‘Civil Celebrant Sussex’. I decided to enrol in two nationally recognised level 3 diplomas and worked on the courses back-to-back. spent an intense 6 months of training and qualifying in both Funeral Celebrancy and Naming & Couples Celebrancy. By the end of the year I was ready to launch.
This followed a short contract at Christmas, to play Widow Twankey in the pantomime Aladdin, at the Brighton Centre, having been postposed from the previous Christmas because of lockdown – I was playing opposite the utterly fabulous, Anita Dobson!
The benefits of having had experience as an actor are obvious to many; Confidence in presenting live to an audience, making that delivery interesting and engaging – but it’s important to remember that the focus of the ceremony is the client, whether that be the couple, the deceased or even the subject of a naming ceremony! ‘It’s not about me’! – the ‘actor’s ego’ must be controlled, the ceremony should not be, unless specifically requested, theatrical! However, clarity in delivery is essential.
I have come into this new career as a mature person and my many decades of life experience certainly help in understanding the client’s needs, drawing from personal experiences and knowledge and sourcing material to include and enhance ceremonies. I was raised in a Roman Catholic family, so although not now practicing, I am very open to include some religious content, if it’s requested. One thing which encouraged my desire to provide bespoke civil ceremonies, is the widespread inflexible attitude of the church, when it comes to secular music and reading choice. As an example, whilst helping my Mum to arrange my father’s funeral and thanksgiving mass with the Catholic church, we were not even permitted to use the song ‘Wonderful World’ by Louis Armstrong – hardly inappropriate.
I love the challenge of featuring mixed cultural references and traditions within a ceremony. I was recently asked if I could include a traditional Greek ‘crown’ symbolic action – a beautiful moment involving the couple wearing wreath crowns connected together by a ribbon and worn during the declaration of vows and ring exchange.
Having lived in Brighton for over 20 years, I have been a part of this very vibrant, diverse and forward-thinking community which, for me, is an ideal location to launch my new career. I have been an active part of the LGBTQ+ community for most of my life and I am passionate about creating fully inclusive and colourful ceremonies, with complete equality always at the front of my mind.
There has to be a lot of focus, as a self-employed celebrant, to establish a reputation and to get my name out into the marketplace.
One of my first actions, was to become a member of the Association of Independent Celebrants (AOIC) – an organisation which provides a lot of support, both on a personal level, in providing insurances, further education and information, but also is actively campaigning, on behalf of civil celebrants, for modernisation within the industry, most especially with Civil Wedding Ceremonies.
The task of canvassing numerous funeral directors was met with mixed reaction, as expected, but the goal was to win over their confidence, to give me an opportunity to show them my skills. To date, I have created ceremonies for around 10 different funeral directors, and I am still hoping to win over more. I am occasionally approached directly, via online listings and my website – a vital tool for my business. I really benefit, personally, from my work as a funeral celebrant – having the opportunity to give the bereaved freedom of choice in creating the most personal send-off for their loved ones.
For the Wedding and Civil Partnership celebration ceremonies, I have experimented in various ways to gain work; advertising in an online magazine, also writing editorial content for them, but as yet, this hasn’t been productive and was quite expensive.
Another promotional opportunity, again not cheap, involves exhibiting at Wedding Fairs. These vary from shows staged by wedding venues, to show off their facilities and associated recommended suppliers; shows staged at venues by National Wedding Fair Organisers, such as Empirical and County Weddings. These companies also arrange shows at places which do not host wedding ceremonies, such as the Amex Stadium in Brighton and other National Exhibition Centres. These fairs offer stands to showcase the various suppliers to the wedding industry, Floral and event decoration, photographers and videographers, cake makers, venues, wedding dresses and suits, make-up artists and, not forgetting, Wedding Celebrants!
I hope that face-to-face engagement is the best way forward. However, I am learning very quickly, that a big part of this marketing is educating both the couples and the venues. Often, they are not aware of the options available to them, a registrar-led or a civil celebrant-led ceremony (once they have done their basic legals).
During the summer months, I was delighted to act as celebrant for a modest, unique but no less beautiful, Commitment Ceremony. The couple wanted to have a special day to mark their commitment to one another, in lieu of a marriage at a later date, the reason being that the brides mother was, sadly, terminally ill.
I was delighted to officiate a 30th Anniversary Renewal of Vows ceremony last spring. Knowing I am a professional singer, the couple requested that I sing a song while they were signing their souvenir certificate – specifically the song to which they did the ‘first dance’ 30 years ago, called ‘She Wears My Ring’! This is a USP for my work as a celebrant, and as much as I don’t push this as a possible feature, I do mention it in my early chats with clients, if I glean that it might suit their ideas. Also, I have been contacted directly through my website by potential clients who love musical theatre, having read my background.
By contrast, a sensational Wedding Celebration Ceremony was held in the Lantern Room at Farnham Castle in August 2023. This task was to create a fairly traditional British ceremony for a couple whose families were Azerbaijani and Kazakhstani. Coincidentally, both couples had chosen to have string quartets playing throughout their ceremonies, the one focussing on the glorious arrangements of modern pieces set in a more classical style, made popular as the soundtrack to the Netflix series ‘Bridgerton’.
I am now launching a Baby-Naming service and calculating the best way to market this. My aim is to promote naming ceremony options for everything from welcoming new babies, adopted and step-children into a new family unit, to gender transition celebrations.
I have issued press releases locally and I have had some success with free advertising, through local community publications and so far, three interviews with BBC Radio Sussex, thanks to my Panto colleague, Alison Ferns! The promotion goes on, and will be a vital part of my business – I hope, one day, that ‘word of mouth’ recommendations will begin to play a more important and productive role towards bookings.
So, if you’re looking for a chic, creative, eloquent celebrant, willing to consider any unusual themes or requests for your ceremonies, I’m your perfect choice; you may want me to sing a special or significant song during your ceremony, or perhaps dress up in period costume or even as Darth Vader! Maybe, you just want someone relatable and trustworthy to deliver something more traditional, then look no further than me, Mark, @civilcelebrantsussex
