Category: Civil Celebrant

Tying the Knot Through Time: Unveiling the Mystique of British Wedding Traditions and their evolution into our more inclusive society.

Posted on by Mark Inscoe in Celebration Ceremonies, Civil Marriage, Commitment ceremony, Handfasting, Inclusive Ceremonies, LGBTQ+, Partnership, Renewal of Vows, Wedding

Season’s greetings!

Engagement Season in fact (officially running from Christmas Eve until Valentine’s Day – according to Hamish at Bridebook!), from your Brighton-based Wedding Celebrant Mark, civilcelebrantsussex.

Many of you beautiful, newly engaged couples will soon start to plan ahead for the big day – and organised planning is essential – venues and suppliers (especially Celebrants!!) will be getting booked up quickly.

You may well be aware of some popular traditions and superstitions surrounding marriage, but not know the origins. Many of these traditions are equally appropriate in modern ceremonies and you might want to incorporate some into your own wedding, even adapt them to reflect your values in todays society!

As a fully inclusive LGBTQ+ wedding celebrant, I am excited by the kaleidoscope of love and full equality for couples in British Law. We are so fortunate to live in a country which takes pride in it’s diverse and multicultural population.

I’m thrilled to take you on a captivating journey through the origins of just a few British wedding superstitions and traditions. Join me as we unravel the historical tapestry woven into these customs and explore their enduring symbolism in modern ceremonies and even breath new life into adapting these traditions for all couples.

Something Old, Something New: A Spectrum of Love

In the quaint corridors of time, the tradition of “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue” was born. Each item, carefully chosen, carries profound symbolism. The old symbolises continuity, the new represents optimism for the future, the borrowed item embodies borrowed happiness, and the blue colour wards off the evil eye. In modern weddings, couples embrace this tradition as a heartfelt connection to the past while stepping into their shared future.

Couples from different cultures and backgrounds may choose to infuse their ceremonies with items that honour their heritage, creating a harmonious blend of the old and the new.

In the vibrant spectrum of modern love, the tradition of “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue” transforms into a celebration of diverse histories and shared futures. Same-sex couples infuse their ceremonies with the radiant colours of pride, turning each item into a vibrant symbol of their unique journey.

Handfasting: A rainbow connection!

In ancient Britain, couples sought a union blessed by nature. Handfasting, a Celtic tradition, involves the binding of hands with a cord, symbolizing the intertwining of two lives. However, within small communities and between tribes many 100’s of years ago, a marriage contract was less of a love match and more of a contract between families to cement allies or gain assets. So the bride and groom were often tied together to prevent them ‘disappearing’ before the marriage!

In contemporary ceremonies, couples embrace this ritual as a powerful symbol of unity, choosing cords that reflect their unique journey together. Same-sex couples may choose cords in the colours of the pride flag, symbolizing the intertwining of their distinct stories and the beauty of their shared connection.

Showered in Prosperity: The Tradition of Rice and Confett

From the rural fields of Britain to modern wedding venues, the act of throwing rice or confetti has deep roots in symbolizing fertility and prosperity. As grains rain down upon the newlyweds, they are blessed with the hope of a bountiful and fruitful life together.

Nowadays, with a greater need for ‘green’ products, there are many sources providing sustainable, biodegradable confetti – favoured more by most venues, especially with outdoor wedding ceremonies.

The Mystique of the Wedding Veil

The enchanting world of wedding veils is one where mystery and tradition converge. Originally worn to protect brides from evil spirits, veils have transformed into a symbol of purity and the unveiling of true love. The delicate lifting of the veil in modern ceremonies represents reverence for the bride’s beauty and the unveiling of a new chapter in the lives of the couple.

Carrying Love Over the Threshold

The ancient act of carrying a partner over the threshold, once rooted in protection  from malevolent spirits that may linger at the entrance of the home.

The act of carrying a partner over the threshold transcends cultures, each with its unique twist. From South Asian weddings, where the bride may enter with a red foot imprint, to Nordic traditions where both partners may enter together. For today’s couples, the act transforms into a gesture of support and commitment, whether same-sex or opposite-sex couples. Together, they step into a shared space, creating a sanctuary built on love, understanding and acceptance.

As we journeyed through the corridors of time, we discovered the profound symbolism behind British wedding traditions, now enriched by the diverse love stories of all couples. From something old to the lifting of the veil, these customs continue to add depth and meaning to modern ceremonies, celebrating love in all its beautiful forms and cultural expressions.

As an LGBTQ+ wedding celebrant, I am thrilled to include the blending of tradition and contemporary love stories, creating inclusive ceremonies that are as unique as the couples they celebrate.

May your own journey into love be adorned with the richness of tradition, the promise of a beautiful future, and the radiant colours of the love you share.

Happy Celebrating!

Mark

www.civilcelebrantsussex.com/couples
Contact Me..

“Growing Together: Symbolic British Trees and Eco-friendly Love in Wedding Ceremonies”

Posted on by Mark Inscoe in Baby Naming, Celebration Ceremonies, Celebration of Life, Civil Celebrant, Civil Marriage, Funeral, Naming, Natural Burial, Tree planting ceremony, Wedding

Sussex based Wedding and Funeral Celebrant Mark Inscoe on the symbolism and environmental significance of choosing a Tree-planting ceremony as part of special day.

The short winter days and cold weather often inspire us to contemplate Spring and Summer – the time of renewal and growth, when nature is at its finest, dream landscapes lush with oxygenating flora.

I am an environmentally conscious, Brighton-based civil Wedding and Funeral Celebrant. I live and work frequently in the Southeast of England. I love that the South Downs is now designated as a British National Park, helping to protect and preserve its ecosystems.

Couples are embracing the beauty of nature and their commitment to the environment by choosing native British trees for symbolic planting ceremonies. These rituals not only connect to the deep-rooted meanings of local trees but also signify a dedication to eco-friendly love. As a wedding celebrant, I encourage these unique ceremonies, each one telling a story using the roots, branches, and blossoms of our native trees.

Here are just six examples of native British tree species, the saplings of which could be chosen for a symbolic tree-planting, each one symbolising different characteristics.

The English Oak Tree - symbolising strength and endurance.

English Oak:

Strength and Endurance.

The English Oak stands tall and strong, symbolising the enduring strength needed for lasting love. As couples plant the English Oak, they not only sow the seeds of a resilient relationship but also contribute to the preservation of native woodlands, emphasising the importance of environmental stewardship. A lovely gesture to guests, can be to include an acorn as a ‘wedding favour’.

Apple Tree:

Fertility and Sweet Beginnings

The Apple Tree, with its promise of future harvests, symbolises fertility and sweet beginnings. By choosing an Apple Tree, couples express their desire for a life together filled with abundance while also acknowledging the role trees play in fostering a healthy ecosystem.

The Apple Tree - symbolising Fertility and sweet beginnings.
The Silver Birch tree - Symbolising fresh starts and pure intentions.

Silver Birch:

Fresh Starts and Pure Intentions.

The delicate Silver Birch represents new beginnings and purity. Planting a Silver Birch sapling signifies the couple’s commitment to a fresh start, grounded in pure intentions, and contributes to the promotion of biodiversity in their local environment.

Hazel Tree:

Wisdom and Prosperity.

The Hazel Tree, known for its wisdom and connection to prosperity, adds a unique element to the ceremony. Couples choosing a Hazel express their commitment to nurturing a wise and prosperous relationship, rooted in the values of nature.

The Hazel Tree - Symbolising wisdom and prosperity.
The Willow tree - symbolizing flexibility and adaptability.

Willow Tree:

Flexibility and Adaptability. The Willow Tree, with its gracefully bending branches, symbolises flexibility and adaptability. Couples choosing a Willow express their commitment to navigating life’s twists and turns, all while contributing to the conservation of wetland habitats where willows often flourish.

Beech Tree:

Strength in Unity.

The Beech Tree, known for its strong, interconnected roots, symbolises strength in unity. Planting a Beech sapling signifies the couple’s commitment to building a robust, interconnected life together, mirroring the resilience and community found in thriving woodland ecosystems.

The Beech tree - Symbolising strength in unity.

Symbolic planting mini-ceremonies can be a great way to enhance not only marriage ceremonies, but other life ceremonies :

Naming Ceremony:

In baby naming ceremonies, the choice of a specific tree carries significance for parental aspirations; particular personality traits for their new arrival – symbolism of the growth, strength, and uniqueness of the baby being introduced into the family.

Funeral Ceremony:

While funerals are often somber occasions, the planting of a sapling in memory of a loved one can offer solace and perpetuate their legacy, through a physical, living reminder.

An ideal opportunity for a tree-planting to commemorate a loved one, would be at a Celebration of Life Ceremony.

An increasingly popular choice for interment or ash scattering, is a Natural Burial Ground. One of the loveliest sites in the South Downs, is Clayton Wood Natural Burial Ground, near Burgess Hill. These facilities may offer the chance to plant a tree or shrub on the burial plot, or within a nearby designated area. However, it’s important to note that, in most cases, only species native to each specific ecosystem are allowed to be planted in the ground.

Dame Judi Dench, famously, has a passion for trees. She plants a new tree, named in memory of a friend or relative who has passed. I was deeply moved to hear that she has a tree named after a very close friend of mine, Stephen Hanley, who died in 1997. They worked together in the musical ‘A Little Night Music’, at the National Theatre.

Native British trees offer a richness of symbolism that enhance ceremonies. They also provide an opportunity to make a positive impact on the environment.

The tree-planting ceremony is a beautiful and symbolic addition to a wedding ceremony, representing the growth and endurance of the couple’s love. Each tree chosen becomes a living metaphor, illustrating the couple’s values, hopes, and dreams, while also contributing to the health of the planet.

The planting ceremony :

Here’s a description of how the tree-planting ceremony typically unfolds within the wedding celebration.

As the ceremony progresses, after the exchange of vows and rings, as your celebrant I will introduce the tree-planting ceremony. I explain the significance of this ritual, highlighting the connection between the chosen tree and the couple’s journey ahead.

A symbolic planting ceremony is ideal for an outdoor wedding celebration, but can easily be performed indoors too. The couple approach a table, or an area designated for the tree-planting ceremony.

  • Preparation: I will explain the steps involved in planting the tree and invite the couple to join hands, signifying their unity and shared commitment. They may also wish to involve family members or close friends, signifying the support network that will nurture and protect the couple’s relationship.
  • Planting the Tree: If planting in the ground, the couple digs a hole together with a small shovel or spade, representing the groundwork they are laying for their shared life. It may be more convenient, (and usually less messy!) to plant the sapling into a large pot, with fresh soil/compost in another container next to it. As they plant the tree, I may read out relevant passages, poems, or blessings that reflect the chosen tree’s symbolism and its connection to the couple’s journey. A special chrome or silver-plated symbolic trowel and/or chrome-plated watering can can be purchased for the ceremony and then kept as souvenir mementos.
  • Unity Soil or Water: Some couples choose to incorporate additional elements into the ceremony, such as unity soil or water. They may collect soil from significant places in their lives (e.g., childhood homes) or use water from meaningful sources (e.g., a river representing the flow of time). Adding these elements to the planting symbolises the integration of their individual histories into the new life they are creating together.
  • Watering and Nurturing: Once the tree is planted, the couple waters it together. This act of nurturing the tree becomes a symbol of their commitment to nurture and care for their relationship over time. They may also invite guests to participate in this act, fostering a sense of community support.
  • Closing Blessing: To conclude the tree-planting ceremony, as celebrant, I will offer a closing blessing or words of encouragement, tying together the symbolism of the tree with the couple’s vows and the journey they are embarking upon. The planted tree, now a living symbol of their love, will continue to grow and flourish, much like their relationship.
  • Documentation: Some couples choose to commemorate the ceremony by documenting the event. This can include taking a photograph with the tree, marking the tree’s location on a map, or even providing guests with small saplings to plant in their own homes, creating a collective and lasting memory.

The tree-planting ceremony adds a touch of nature and symbolism to the wedding, creating a lasting and tangible representation of the couple’s commitment to grow and nurture their love throughout their married life.

If you would like to discuss having a symbolic tree-planting as a featured part of your ceremony, or any other symbolic action, then –

contact me here

I look forward to sharing my expert knowledge with you to create the most perfect personalised ceremony for you.

Your Day ~ Your Way

A Direct Cremation & A Celebration of Life

Posted on by Mark Inscoe in Celebration of Life, Civil Celebrant, Direct Cremation, Funeral, Memorial Ceremony, Natural Burial

‘Ashes to Ashes’ – Following his death from liver cancer in 2016, in New York, it transpired that David Bowie had chosen a Direct Cremation, way back in 2004. This brought increased awareness to, what has become an increasingly popular choice.

A Direct Cremation is a contemporary choice for those who do not want a more traditional funeral service, and often just want a dignified low cost farewell. This would involve a simple casket, the doctor’s fees, collection and transportation to the crematorium. There is then an option for a seperate Memorial ceremony or a Celebration of Life. It is typically the cheapest option, avoiding periferal costs such as embalming, a funeral service, flowers, etc.

A direct cremation involves no formal funeral service. It is usually unattended but can include a small gathering of mourners. The Downs Crematorium in Brighton offer an early morning option where people can visit the coffin in the chapel to pay their respects. This can be accompanied by music, if required.

[ It’s important to note that while a direct cremation can be a more affordable and flexible option, it may not suit everyone’s wishes or cultural practices. The feelings of the close family and friends and the wishes of the deceased should be considered when planning a funeral. ]

Many families choose to hold a seperate memorial event, usually a more formal ceremony, or a Celbration of Life to commemorate the life of the deceased person.

A celebration of life is a ceremony typically held after, or instead of, a funeral service. It aims to celebrate the life of a loved one in a positive way, focusing on the good times and memories made.

The choice to hold a celebration of life often follows a direct cremation, or a smaller funeral ceremony. There is no rule as to when the Celebration of Life will be held, but usually several months, at least, after the death. Instead of focusing on grieving and the sadness of saying goodbye, they then use the celebration of life as a unique send off. A celebration of life brings happiness, usually with an activity that concentrates on the deceased’s personality. It’s about highlighting the joy they brought to others during the time they lived.

In my role as a Sussex funeral celebrant, I had the privilege, earlier this year, to create and deliver two events for an extraordinary gentleman. Firstly, a small family funeral, at the bright, modern chapel of HD Tribe Funerals in Worthing, attended by only a small group of close family.

Secondly, a few months later, I hosted a wonderful Celebration of Life event at Long Furlong Barn, in the glorious West Sussex Downs, attended by a greater number of family and friends.

This joyful afternoon was an opportunity to recognise and celebrate Peters life, achievements and hobbies. Additional tributes were delivered by friends and family, including a charming poem composed and read by Peter’s grandchildren. It was also an opportunity for those family members who were not able to attend the funeral ceremony.

At a Celebration of Life in 2022, I was honoured to deliver a ‘tribute’ to my friend and colleague, actor Matt Zimmerman, at St Paul’s, Covent Garden, ‘The Actor’s Church’. Matt was famously the voice of Alan Tracy in Thunderbirds!

The Perfect Celebrant for You?

Posted on by Mark Inscoe in Baby Naming, Celebration Ceremonies, Civil Celebrant, Civil Marriage, Commitment ceremony, Funeral, Handfasting, Luxury historic wedding venue, Memorial Ceremony, Naming, Natural Burial, Partnership, Renewal of Vows, Uncategorized, Wedding

As a wedding celebrant, funeral celebrant or naming celebrant you want to know that you have found the perfect match for your special day.

Many important factors to look for –

  • Personality – Warm, Friendly and Personable; A Celebrant who will immediately put you at ease, so that your happy to share your stories and needs, essential when writing your ceremony.
  • Presentation – Chic, sophisticated and dressed appropriately for the occasion. Perhaps your wish is to have a ceremony with a specific dress code – you want a celebrant who is flexible and happy to go along with your dream theme.
  • Experience & Training – A fully trained Celebrant, who brings that training and background knowledge and, let’s face it, a wealth of life experience into providing the best possible ceremony for you.
  • A Unique Bespoke and Personalised Experience – A celebrant who will consider all of your wishes to compose and deliver your perfect ceremony. A fully inclusive ceremony which might include cultural references, lifestyle choices, music and poetry choices, wording, etc. A celebrant who has the flexibility to introduce some religious or faith references into a largely secular ceremony.
  • Trust – A celebrant who will give you the confidence to know that they will deliver on the day. You will have many things to think about and you need someone who you can trust will be there on the day and deliver everything you dreamt of – your perfect ceremony.
  • Location – A celebrant who is happy to come to you. Although home county ceremonies are ideal, travel is always considered, national and international (in the case of Destination Wedding Ceremonies).

If these factors are essential when you are looking for your ideal Celebrant then I’m the Perfect Celebrant for you!

I am a fully trained civil celebrant based in Brighton, East Sussex. I have a background in theatre and voice acting and singing, having appeared in numerous major musicals, cabaret and Radio & TV campaigns – in fact, I was the voice behind the ‘eHarmony’ television commercials for three years!

Let’s talk and begin the exciting, collaborative, creative process of bringing to reality your dream ceremony. Whether that be a marriage ceremony, a naming ceremony, funeral and memorial ceremony, as your celebrant, I will be honoured to work with you.

Your Day, Your Way

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Exhibiting at Penshurst Place Wedding Fair.

Posted on by Mark Inscoe in Celebration Ceremonies, Civil Celebrant, Civil Marriage, Commitment ceremony, Handfasting, Luxury historic wedding venue, Partnership, Renewal of Vows, Wedding

Today’s exhibition is an opportunity to meet the in-house wedding event team and explore one of the most amazing venues I have seen to date. As a wedding celebrant in the South East, I hope to work at this beautiful, historic wedding venue, near Tonbridge, Kent.

Many amazing spaces for indoor wedding ceremonies and outdoor weddings. dating back to the 14th century, Penshurst Place is an impressive medieval manor house and estate with impressive interiors and beautiful formal gardens. A marriage ceremony here would be an extraordinary memory – you can be a part of six centuries of history. A perfect setting for weddings of most sizes.

Arka Original Funerals 20th Anniversary celebration

Posted on by Mark Inscoe in Civil Celebrant, Funeral, Memorial Ceremony, Natural Burial

Mark Inscoe, Brighton based civil funeral celebrant, joins the evening celebrations for Arka Original Funerals two decades of working with the community. I have been privileged to deliver several bespoke non-religious funeral ceremonies for Cara Mair.

I wanted to support Brighton’s answer to ‘El Dia de los Muertos’ – a beautiful lantern parade led by a lively jazz band. Fortunately, the earlier rain storms had cleared to give way to a starry sky but rather chilly air. The community came together to honour their friends or family who had died, celebrating through their shared ethos of Arka’s inclusive and eco-friendly approach to funerals and the care of the bereaved before and after a death. The parade, which wound it’s way through the hilly streets of Hanover in Brighton, from Arka’s Islingword Rd branch up to St Luke’s Church on Queens Park Rd, thrilling the curious residents, with head’s popping up at windows and folk in their doorways, keen to understand this joyous celebration. Once at St Luke’s, ‘The Jam Tarts’ choir entertained, before a discussion relating to grief support in the community. Contributions included Brighton’s Green Party MP Caroline Lucas, currently training on a course dealing with end-of-life issues in today’s community, with the Lewes based ‘Living Well Dying Well’. Time followed to share personal experiences and I spoke to a number of people including humanist celebrant Simon, with whom I shared, as it transpired, an acting background.

A lantern parade through the streets of Hanover, Brighton to celebrate the 20th Anniversary of Arka Original Funerals working with the community.

The Celebrant in East Sussex

Posted on by Mark Inscoe in Celebration Ceremonies, Civil Celebrant, Civil Marriage, Commitment ceremony, Handfasting, Partnership, Renewal of Vows, Wedding

Listed In ‘Wedding and Honeymoons Magazine’ as ‘The Celebrant’ in East Sussex.

As a marriage celebrant based in Brighton & Hove, I cover the South East of England and beyond, including Destination Weddings. I look forward to chatting with about your dream wedding and helping to make your special day perfect.

Weddings & Honeymoons magazine…click here

Sussex Marriage Celebrant meets the Wedding Team at an ‘Open Day’ at the Number one Wedding venue in West Sussex

Posted on by Mark Inscoe in Celebration Ceremonies, Civil Celebrant, Commitment ceremony, Handfasting, Partnership, Renewal of Vows, Wedding

The Ravenswood is an historic hotel operating as a dedicated Wedding venue.

With parts of the building dating back to the 15th Century! A number of stunning and contrasting ceremony spaces for indoor and outdoor ceremonies – including the Old Baronial Hall, The Jacobean suite, The Princess Beatrice Suite, and outside, the Little Castle, and beautiful mature woodland and a small lake, with a Boathouse, Ruins and concealing a ‘Secret Garden’.

I was so encouraged meeting the wedding co-ordinators and events team – such a friendly welcome from Katie, Molly, Dawn, Natalie, Talia, Ellie and Liz. I was happy to hear that the team at the Ravenswood are very aware of the differences between a Celebrant-led ceremony and a Registrar-led ceremony.

Yours truly, Wedding Celebrant Mark Inscoe (Civil Celebrant Sussex) in the Jacobean Suite – with beautiful autumnal display (by Mulberry Events).

Hello from me!

Posted on by Mark Inscoe in Celebration Ceremonies, Civil Celebrant, Commitment ceremony, Partnership, Renewal of Vows, Wedding

A quick introductory video from me, from the beautiful Sussex Downs! 24th September 2023.