Mastering Sensitive Conversations: Tips from Mark Inscoe, Your Brighton Civil Celebrant.

Hi there! I’m Mark Inscoe, a civil celebrant based in Brighton, East Sussex. As civilcelebrantsussex, I know how important it is to handle sensitive conversations with care.

Having been a professional celebrant for three years now, I have met many wonderful people, who have entrusted me with helping them to creating ceremonies – both to celebrate their union or to celebrate the life of someone very dear who has departed. In most cases, I have never met these people before and it is vital that I learn about who they are and learn their stories.

So as to put together the perfect personalised ceremony, it is important that the clients feel comfortable and relaxed when meeting me, and that I am able to ask the right questions, sensitively.

Here are some friendly tips to help you navigate these discussions smoothly.

• Create a Comfortable Space: Make sure the setting is private and cozy. Use open body language and stay calm to help everyone feel at ease.
• Listen with Your Heart: Give your full attention to the speaker. Show you’re listening with nods and encouraging words. Let them speak without interruptions and allow pauses for thought.
• Speak with Empathy: Acknowledge the emotions and experiences of others. Use phrases like “I understand this is tough” or “Thanks for sharing that with me.” Avoid making assumptions or giving unsolicited advice.
• Watch Nonverbal Cues: Pay attention to body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. Mirror the participant’s body language to build rapport. Maintain appropriate eye contact and use gentle gestures.
• Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage deeper conversation with questions like “Can you tell me more about that?” or “How are you feeling about this?” Avoid yes/no questions that can shut down the conversation.
• Validate Feelings: Recognize and affirm the participant’s emotions. Use statements like “It’s okay to feel this way” or “Your feelings are valid.”
• Be Patient and Allow Silence: Give participants time to process their thoughts and emotions. Don’t rush to fill the silence; it can be a valuable part of the conversation.
• Stay Neutral and Non-Judgmental: Avoid taking sides or expressing personal opinions. Focus on understanding and supporting the participant.
• Provide Support and Resources: Offer information about additional support services if needed. Follow up with participants to show ongoing care and concern.
• Reflect and Debrief: After the conversation, take time to reflect on what was discussed. Consider any follow-up actions or support that may be needed.